I Want To Be Barbie

barbie identity dolls

Who wouldn’t want to be the bitch that has everything?  Cars, houses, men, horses, and the perfect body…unrealistic body…but those boobs, no matter how old she gets still stay right where they are.  And she never gets wrinkly even after being left in the bathtub overnight.

Her wardrobe could make Lisa Vanderpump of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills jealous.  Of course, in my house she is always lounging around naked.  Who wouldn’t love to do that all day?

She’s more popular then any Kardashian could ever dream of being.  She can sing, dance, act, and if you asked Ken I bet he would tell you that she’s like a porn star in the bedroom.  Maybe Mattel should make her a stripper pole to go along with all the rest of her possessions.

And where does she get that lipstick?  It never wears off!  And no matter what you do to her hair it still looks great.  Even matted with breakfast syrup in it.

She travels everywhere and some people go to great lengths to make shrines of her using an entire room in their house…some even as far as using their whole house.  Believe me, I have seen it with my own eyes.

She doesn’t eat, doesn’t have to take time out of her busy day to use the bathroom and she NEVER loses that “everything is fabulous” look on her face.

So you tell me?  Who wouldn’t want to be Barbie?

Daily Post: A Brand New You – “Who would you want to be, if you could wake up as someone else tomorrow?”

The Faces Of Barbie Through The Years

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PS: The only bad thing about Barbie is if you drag her across the pavement she gets all scratched up…the scratches don’t go away and she then gets thrown in the trash.  Guess that part would suck to be Barbie.

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So Now I Am The Bad Guy

step parenting bad guy teenagers

I have said it before and I will say it again …being a step parent really doesn’t have a lot of perks.  I have pretty much raised my step son and cared for him longer than his egg donor ever did and although I have accepted that he will never call me mom…it still hurts.  Especially when his real mother isn’t even in the picture…AT ALL.

But that’s all irrelevant to this post…

My step son left yesterday for a sporting competition.  Before he was to leave I had asked him to get some stuff done, chore wise, around the house.  His father has been ill and pretty much useless at helping with anything so I was relying on my stepson’s help before he left.

He did nothing that I asked of him.

Yet he asked me to go to the store and load him up on snacks for his trip and to make sure he had money as well.  So the nice step mother that I am made sure to do that.  I do a lot for that boy and half of it goes totally unappreciated and usually unnoticed.

I text him last night after doing all the chores myself and let him know how upset I was.  I never heard a word back from him.  Whatever.  Didn’t really give two shits.

Then today my husband asked me why I was so upset with him (I had went off about something else I had found that he hadn’t done) so I told him why.

I have learned through the years that complaining to my husband really doesn’t matter because all he does is get upset that he feels like he has to referee between the two of us.  Which I call total bullshit because for the most part I have always handled the problems myself.


He informed me that I should tell him how I felt…in which I told him that I had text him last night and never gotten a response.

10 minutes pass…

My phone beeps with a text message from my step son stating that he is sorry he never text me back.  That’s it. Not that he’s sorry he didn’t do what I asked only that he’s sorry about the fact that his dad bitched at him for not getting back to me.

To be honest I was a little upset that his father even said anything to him.  I had pretty much been over the entire fact for about 24 hours now.

I text him back basically saying that I was upset but that I was over it and that I hoped he was having a good time at his sporting event.  Which then he informed me he had lost.

I replied with …well I will chalk that up to karma and put a funny face after it.

Now let me just say that this family is not an easy family to live in when you get upset about something.  We are all taught to pretty much suck up our feelings and get on with life.  No one’s allowed to get offended or have emotions pretty much what. so. ever.

So the fact that I said that to him, I felt was just the same as him telling me that my cooking was gross or I sucked at memorizing every player of every team in the NFL.  There are actually a lot of rude and crude comments that I endure from him and his father that I am expected to just roll off my shoulders.  But I say something and suddenly I am an asshole parent.

A week ago my husband told my 5 year old to stop being a dumbass. Yes those were his exact words and somehow that is great parenting compared to me telling my 15 year old that karma caused him to lose his sporting event.

What. The. Fuck. Ever.

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Fearless Fantasies

fearless fear fantasies

fearless fear fantasies

To not have the feeling of fear.

There really isn’t much I fear.  But I do have a lot of fantasies.

I fantasize about having a different husband.  One who knows how to truly love someone and who isn’t still holding a grudge at the cards he was dealt as a teenager.

I fantasize about me having the courage to leave him and that my kids will be ok with it because they don’t like him much anyway.

I fantasize about after I am gone him realizing that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and dwelling in his own painful and lonely misery.  Pleads for me to come back but I know once I have passed that point there will be no return for me.

I fantasize about having my career back.  The one I gave up to stay home and raise our children.  The decision that has left me feeling powerless and a loss of myself.

Never in a relationship has someone made more money than me.

I fantasize about the good days of our marriage and that they somehow still outweigh the bad.  I know that our love is strong and that when the passion is there it’s truly like no other I have felt.

All these things that I fantasize about are creating fear in me.

I don’t want another failed relationship.  I have had enough of them in my lifetime.

My biggest fear is being alone, therefore if I had no fear….I would already be alone.

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Daily Post Prompt: Fearless Fantasies


My Faith

faith religion labels people humanity agnostic atheist

faith religion labels people humanity agnostic atheist

I was brought up with a very strong existence about God.

My grandmother read the bible every morning as soon as she woke and visited church on occasions and I remember when I was younger, attending bible study.

When I was a teen and lived with my mother, she would get on church kicks where we would suddenly go to church a few Sundays in a row.

I was usually hungover and trying not to get caught dosing off only to be flicked in the back of the head by my mother when I did.

As I have gotten older and started to read my own articles about science and religion, and have found that religion, especially organized religion, is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo.  I have realized that religion is nothing that I want to be a part of, much less believe in.

I don’t believe in God, but I believe in being a good person.  I also believe in the paranormal although I have never experienced it and I especially believe in karma.

I am married to an atheist, who believes in nothing, and who also has decided to label me as agnostic.  But why do I need a label?  Why does anyone need to be labeled as something.  Perhaps if there weren’t so many labels there wouldn’t be so much controversy over who was right and who was wrong and who was just plain crazy.

To me, labels have become crazy.

If your child is hyper..they have ADD…if they are strange…they are on some autistic spectrum.  Like when did being weird become a label.  If someone is weird in their own way and it isn’t hurting anyone then why give them a label?

Not to mention everyone thinks of “Rainman” when the word autistic is mentioned.  And in the movie Tom Cruise’s character didn’t understand Dustin Hoffman’s character’s behavior but by the end learned to love his weirdness and accept it.  And let’s face it that motherfucker was smart and quick as a whip.

I have somewhat lost my faith in humanity because humanity itself has become a series of labels.  Like everything that’s out of the ordinary has to have a name for it.

Why can’t we all just be the humans we were meant to be and keep our skeletons in the closet as long as they aren’t endangering anyone or anything else?

I enjoy watching porn…does that make me a pervert?

If I was religious, why would I have to go to a church to pray?  Why would I have to follow someone else’s rules…someone who has really no proof as to the existence of what they believe.

Why do people that don’t eat meat have to be labeled as vegetarians?   And why should they frown upon me because I love me some meat!?!?

There are sometimes that my faith in humanity is restored…when I am able to witness acts of kindness.  There are times I myself try to restore it by helping the needy man on the corner, which most would label as homeless,  only to see him get out of a brand new car, two days later, to stand on the same corner.  And now every time I pass him I just want to flip him off or throw a penny at him.

I will tell you this much about faith…I have faith in myself,  I know exactly who I am, how weird I am, and know that believing in myself is truly the only way to succeed at anything….without fucking labels.

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We Made It Through Christmas

marriage, marital problems, relationships, holidays,

Well we made it through Christmas without drawing up divorce papers.  Although a few days before we had a major fight and I had a horrible breakdown that I am still recovering from.

I made it through the holiday by focusing on the happiness of our children and the several cocktails which my hands possessed throughout the day.

Don’t worry, you didn’t fail at letting me know that I had once again disappointed you with another Christmas fail of gifts for you.  I can always tell by the way you throw them aside rather than taking care of them and putting them where they belong.  The look on your face when you open them is a dead giveaway as well.

Don’t worry…there wasn’t anything real exciting that I got from you either.  And I still can’t believe that you didn’t notice you were ordering a juniors size jacket…duh.

You were off for an entire week and promised that we would sit down and do something like play a game of cards (we even bought a puzzle to do) but instead you wound up in front of the television as usual.  Watching movies that I don’t care to watch…and you don’t care that I don’t care.

Then you bought an XBOXONE for the kids for Christmas which you spent most of the day hoarding to yourself.  Not to mention your grinch behavior of telling the kids to clean up their mess…CONSTANTLY…and that half their new toys they couldn’t play with because they belong outside.  It’s Christmas asshole…let them be messy and I don’t think riding the scooter on our wood floors or flying the helicopter with our 16 ft high ceilings is going to damage anything.

You complimented me on the dinner I made which about made me fall out of my seat.  I think you must have been a little buzzed because the only time you ever say anything about my cooking is to tell me what’s wrong with it.

It’s almost the new year and we have been making a list of things that are going to change…I am looking forward to seeing which will conquer and which will fail.

I am also wondering if I will still have the same relationship status by the end of next year.

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