Fearless Fantasies

fearless fear fantasies

To not have the feeling of fear.

There really isn’t much I fear.  But I do have a lot of fantasies.

I fantasize about having a different husband.  One who knows how to truly love someone and who isn’t still holding a grudge at the cards he was dealt as a teenager.

I fantasize about me having the courage to leave him and that my kids will be ok with it because they don’t like him much anyway.

I fantasize about after I am gone him realizing that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and dwelling in his own painful and lonely misery.  Pleads for me to come back but I know once I have passed that point there will be no return for me.

I fantasize about having my career back.  The one I gave up to stay home and raise our children.  The decision that has left me feeling powerless and a loss of myself.

Never in a relationship has someone made more money than me.

I fantasize about the good days of our marriage and that they somehow still outweigh the bad.  I know that our love is strong and that when the passion is there it’s truly like no other I have felt.

All these things that I fantasize about are creating fear in me.

I don’t want another failed relationship.  I have had enough of them in my lifetime.

My biggest fear is being alone, therefore if I had no fear….I would already be alone.

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Daily Post Prompt: Fearless Fantasies

 

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