Oh Mother Where Art Thou?

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I am at the gym today just going about my workout…in a fabulous and full of energy mood actually, when my phone shuts off my pandora music and starts to alert me that someone is calling.

It’s my mother.

And I know the only reason she was calling is because she has read my blog post that morning and was feeling guilty that she has pretty much been an absentee mother my entire life and now is doing the same with her grandchildren.

I had written a blog post that morning (on another blog that I write on) about the fact that my husband and I pretty much have no support from any of our parents when it comes to our kids.

My husband doesn’t have a dad, my dad is too much of a playboy that I don’t think I would trust the care of my children to him, my husband’s mom lives 6 hours away and can’t afford to take time off from work, but as for my mom…well my mom is retired…lives 5 hours away…it takes one freeway for her to get here…and yet she has only been here once this year and that was to bring my nephew for a visit so that my brother and his wife could take a week to Vegas.

Now…let me back up to earlier in the year when I had asked my mom if she could please come stay with the kids for a couple nights, during my husband’s time off, so that him and I could go have a couple nigh to ourselves, to celebrate our anniversary, in the city which is 2 hours away.  She said she would look at her schedule and get back to me.  Next thing I know she’s headed out with my nephew during a time that my husband had to work the entire time she was going to be here.

Therefore, once again, as she always does…she catered to my brother.  My brother has always been her favorite.  And personally I don’t really care that he has always been her favorite….I also have a sister that would be her second choice.  Funny thing is I am her first born but she has always relied on me pretty to much deal with everything and anything on my own.  Even though she begged me for years to have children.  Even going as far as to make snide comments about the only reason I didn’t want to have kids is because I was so vain about my body.  I never did tell her that I was told by a doctor that I would have to take fertility drugs in order to conceive.  I figured fuck her and her ignorant comments she doesn’t need to know.

So now I know that she is going to call and try to make up for the fact that she never did make it out here and I never did ask her again.  I asked her once and she should know that I never ask for anything unless I really need it.  I have never asked for anything from that woman since the first time I got a job babysitting and doing a paper route at the age of 14.

I even paid her rent while I was a senior in high school.

There’s a long story that goes along with my mother that I will save for another blog post, but I hate the fact that she pretty much ruined my day by calling me (she hasn’t called me in months) and now I really don’t want to call her back because I know that it’s just going to turn into me being snide and telling her that I don’t need her pity.

**Stares at bottle of wine sitting on the counter and contemplates gathering up some liquid courage**

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You Can’t Help Those Who Refuse To Help Themselves

lazy drunk worthless get a job

I have always been raised to only help those who want to help themselves.  To never borrow money that you can’t afford to lose.  And to always work hard at being the best you can be.

This morning my husband’s mother text him asking to borrow money….again.  In the 7 years that I have been with him we have given her 2 paid for vehicles and borrowed her money a few times…not to mention when she would come watch her grandchildren so we could go somewhere overnight we would pay her!  Pay her like she was a babysitter instead of a grandparent!  Really?

Now before you go thinking that I must be a real bitch let me tell you a little background about my mother-in-law.  She’s made bad choices her whole life.  Never learning from her mistakes and just moving on to the next mistake.  The man she was married to when my husband was a teenager beat the shit out of my husband to near death and did she leave the son of a bitch?  No my husband left home and started taking care of himself before he was even legally an adult.

The abusive asshole later died in a house fire.  Funny how karma works sometimes.

So what does my mother-in-law do?  She ends up marrying the abusive asshole’s best friend and having a daughter.  And to add to it…the best friend is an alcoholic and doesn’t work.

Fast forward to now…my mother-in-law works.  And she supports the alcoholic, his friend who is also an alcoholic and doesn’t work, and my 20-year-old sister-in-law who for some reason feels that her goal in life is to sleep until noon and then sit her lazy ass on the couch all day entertained by her drunk father and his drunk friend.  Oh and did I mention that my father-in-law smokes cigarettes too?  So between the daily intake of alcohol and cigarettes I can only imagine what that must be costing.

So rather than putting her foot down and telling them that she will no longer be paying for anything for any of them (they are all perfectly capable of working) she now needs to borrow money…again…from us.  Us over here supporting a family of 6.

And lately because we have encountered more expenses I have actually thought about putting my youngest child in full-time daycare so that I can return to work.

It upsets me so much that I feel like I just want to disconnect from his family and all the drama.  There is so much more to this story that I will save for another time.  For now I just felt like venting because my husband will just give her the money, won’t say anything, all while I am over here wanting to send his 20-year-old sister an email telling her that it’s time for her to get off her lazy ass and get a job and start helping out with the bills if she is going to live there.  I have always had a strong work ethic so it upsets me when I see people who are healthy and capable of working and just choose to be lazy.  Laziness is unacceptable.

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