So Now I Am The Bad Guy

step parenting bad guy teenagers

I have said it before and I will say it again …being a step parent really doesn’t have a lot of perks.  I have pretty much raised my step son and cared for him longer than his egg donor ever did and although I have accepted that he will never call me mom…it still hurts.  Especially when his real mother isn’t even in the picture…AT ALL.

But that’s all irrelevant to this post…

My step son left yesterday for a sporting competition.  Before he was to leave I had asked him to get some stuff done, chore wise, around the house.  His father has been ill and pretty much useless at helping with anything so I was relying on my stepson’s help before he left.

He did nothing that I asked of him.

Yet he asked me to go to the store and load him up on snacks for his trip and to make sure he had money as well.  So the nice step mother that I am made sure to do that.  I do a lot for that boy and half of it goes totally unappreciated and usually unnoticed.

I text him last night after doing all the chores myself and let him know how upset I was.  I never heard a word back from him.  Whatever.  Didn’t really give two shits.

Then today my husband asked me why I was so upset with him (I had went off about something else I had found that he hadn’t done) so I told him why.

I have learned through the years that complaining to my husband really doesn’t matter because all he does is get upset that he feels like he has to referee between the two of us.  Which I call total bullshit because for the most part I have always handled the problems myself.

Anyway…

He informed me that I should tell him how I felt…in which I told him that I had text him last night and never gotten a response.

10 minutes pass…

My phone beeps with a text message from my step son stating that he is sorry he never text me back.  That’s it. Not that he’s sorry he didn’t do what I asked only that he’s sorry about the fact that his dad bitched at him for not getting back to me.

To be honest I was a little upset that his father even said anything to him.  I had pretty much been over the entire fact for about 24 hours now.

I text him back basically saying that I was upset but that I was over it and that I hoped he was having a good time at his sporting event.  Which then he informed me he had lost.

I replied with …well I will chalk that up to karma and put a funny face after it.

Now let me just say that this family is not an easy family to live in when you get upset about something.  We are all taught to pretty much suck up our feelings and get on with life.  No one’s allowed to get offended or have emotions pretty much what. so. ever.

So the fact that I said that to him, I felt was just the same as him telling me that my cooking was gross or I sucked at memorizing every player of every team in the NFL.  There are actually a lot of rude and crude comments that I endure from him and his father that I am expected to just roll off my shoulders.  But I say something and suddenly I am an asshole parent.

A week ago my husband told my 5 year old to stop being a dumbass. Yes those were his exact words and somehow that is great parenting compared to me telling my 15 year old that karma caused him to lose his sporting event.

What. The. Fuck. Ever.

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Teenage Dating ~ Why Doesn’t My Mother Like You?

TeenageDating

Sometimes being a parent really has it’s moments.  Especially when those moments are being a step-parent to a teenage boy.

My teenage son recently got a girlfriend.

And they have gotten pretty serious.

Serious enough that he spends most of his free time at their house.  Her parents have grown to love him…as they should…he’s a great kid.  I wish I could say I had the same liking for their daughter.  But how are you supposed to get to know someone if they already assume that you don’t like them and then never come over to even find out?

When they first got together, she would come over here.  She would lay on the couch snuggled with him and then proceed to “make-out” in front of my other kids.  OOOOH what’s not to like?  My son also came home from HER house with hickeys on his neck one day and she came for a visit sporting a scarf and it was 90 fucking degrees outside.  That was the end of laying on the couch snuggled next to one another at my house.  I was under the impression that her parents were a bit on the strict side as well.  When I asked my son if they were allowed to lay on the couch and make-out at her house he said they weren’t.  Well then why would they both assume that was kosher at mine. And please tell me why my son came home from their house with hickeys on his neck?

Did I mention that they are 15.  She just turned 15.

Yes.  Call me old fashioned…I don’t care…I call it being a parent.

Apparently she does not.  She now thinks that because I have strict polices about what goes on in my house that I don’t like her.  Please tell me what reason she has given me for me to like her?

Maybe it was the time we ran into her at the shopping mall and all she could say was “My dad’s going to buy me this and my dad is going to buy me that”…as if somehow I gave a shit.  All that tells me is that she’s spoiled.  Being spoiled is one thing…shoving it in others faces is just being tasteless.  Still in the back of my head I try to remember that she is young and thinks she knows everything.

Am I being too harsh?

Is it wrong, as a mother, step-mother, a parent to think this way?

I have thought about trying to sit down and have a conversation with her but at this point I just feel like it would be a waste of my time.  I’m not trying to impress her…it’s the other way around.  I am not a friend…I am a parent…who doesn’t need to be a grandparent anytime soon!  I have rules.  His father and I try and run a tight ship around here and because of it he is a good student, a good athlete, and obviously a good enough kid that he is welcomed to their house.  We are strict but as long as he does what he is supposed to do then his freedom to do what he wants in his free time, is his.

Being a parent to teenagers who are dating is so different than when I was a teenager.  I see it in social media EVERY DAMN DAY!  What do you do to keep your teen from becoming a statistic?

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